As a character she clings to any semblance of affection that Tom gives her and she somehow stuffs down that nagging inner voice that tells her things aren't okay. And it's this unhappiness that hugely influences her views on her female friendships and her friends' lifestyle choices. Tori's relationships with her female friends were incredibly well described.
In books I know I frequently lament the lack of strong female friendships and complain about so much needless girl-girl hate but here, the shattering female friendships were a means of illustrating Tori's own insecurities and self loathing.
I'm not as bitter as Tori but Tori's experience is a great conversation starter for what is a tricky subject. Bourne uses the imagery of a wall that divides those in their thirties into the group who are childless and the group who have babies. And it's a wall that Tori states once crossed can never be crossed again. When she discovers her best friend Dee is pregnant over dinner there's a lot of pain for Tori to contend with as she has to try fake her happiness for her friend even though she knows that this now means their friendship will never quite be what it was A space that will grow and grow because Dee is on the other side of the wall.
She can still see me and talk to me and we can pretend the wall is not there, but it is it's been erected in only minutes. That's for another time and place, for a different set of characters This book looks at the experience of that other side of life.
It's about people like Tori that for whatever reason haven't found the one, or are in the wrong relationship or maybe don't want to have children but they still feel this weight And also dare I say occurs very much in real life too. It's not through nastiness or any such thing, although Tori experiences some pettiness in that regard for putting her career ahead of a hen party, but it's about how people in committed strong relationships who either have kids or are trying for them can somehow view their lives as being I don't want to say more meaningful because that's wrong.
But it's this thing of 'oh you'll know when you have your own or when you find the one'. It's this wall. Life changes for them because it simply has to. You have a strong partnership and you have to think about your partner's needs and wants. You have a child and it's utterly dependent on you And it doesn't change for the person who doesn't have a rock solid relationship or child.
Tori states of her best friend Dee: "It's funny how she already thinks there are different types of people who have kids. I guess that's the sort of thought you have when you're on that side of the wall. They find little subsections and pick the one that most makes them feel the best and therefore it's fine, and they tell all their friends who don't have children how different they are from the other mums.
But, on my side of the wall, there are only two categories: people who have children and people who don't. There aren't any subsections for the people who do. They just do, and that's everything to them and their life is changed for ever and they're not as much fun anymore and won't ever be again. Unless you cross the wall. Then they welcome you with open arms like Amy did. Tori is certainly not always correct in how she views her friends and her relationship.
But that doesn't mean her feelings and opinions are any less valid. It's not perfect, there are a few flippant remarks I could have done without but overall this is a great eye opening read that explores some of our more darker feelings about motherhood while also still being incredibly humorous and easy to digest.
Recommended four stars View all 7 comments. Jun 03, Abbie boneseasonofglass marked it as dnf. View all 5 comments. Apr 05, Kat rated it it was ok. Though I can see I'm in the minority welcome to my life , I found this book almost intolerable. I disliked it pretty fast but optimistically kept reading hoping I'd like it further on. I ended up only finishing it coz I knew I'd be done within hours. Having said that, I'm clearly not the target market.
Where Tori just wished she wasn't mainstream and only kept up the pretense because her writing career pushed her that direction, I guess you could say I'm pretty much the opposite. Her constant wh Though I can see I'm in the minority welcome to my life , I found this book almost intolerable.
Her constant whinging about how old she felt and how she wasn't skinny enough was sending me bananas. Perhaps the point of the book was that even people that seem to have it all together on social media are lying, but I thought that was pretty obvious these days? Was it more satirical than I realised coz I disliked everyone so much?
Despite that, there was some witty lines, and I'm sure a lot of people will associate with many of the characters. It just wasn't for me. View 2 comments. Jan 08, Alexis Hall added it Shelves: i-have-no-idea-what-genre-this-is , now-i-am-rather-sad , kinda-liked-it.
CW for review: sexual assault Fuck me, this was savage. The heroine…um protagonist? Wrote a book in her early 20s about being lost and finding yourself in your early 20s that went on to be a bit hit in the self-help market. To some extent. Plus the scenes between her, and her best friend Dee, are fucking amazing. Enough to make where that relationship ends up a genuine gut punch, as painful possibly more so than any romantic conflict. But they are the definition of first world problems.
Your mileage may vary on your capacity to give a damn. But, for whatever reason, I had many damns to give here. The scenes of a relationship on the rocks in ways neither partner seems able or willing to acknowledge are legit harrowing. Which the narrator refuses to deal with in the immediate aftermath for perfectly understandable reasons but also just never gets mentioned or thought of again.
But yes. Assuming you are okay to deal with … that, and are prepared for a dark and ugly ride, albeit one that ends in a hopeful place, this was a pretty amazing piece of writing. Nov 19, Stacey prettybooks rated it it was amazing Shelves: adult-fiction , read-in-my-twenties. I keep telling friends — all in their mid-to-late 20s — to read it as soon as it's out, messaging screenshots of paragraphs eerily similar to conversations we had that very same week.
Continue reading this review over on Pretty Books. Thank you to the publisher for providing this book for review! Oct 08, Kirsty Stanley rated it it was amazing Shelves: arcs , read-in , own-as-e-book. HDYLMN was not a completely enjoyable read for me it kept hitting a nerve but it was a very important one.
It has been proposed that often books might come along when we need them. This was Authentic, Raw and Validating. It's also very contemporary and real. I have definitely had variations of the discussions in this book with friends and family. Holly has an ability to tap into the collective consciousness of women and girls. During reading there were times that I felt she had climbed into my HDYLMN was not a completely enjoyable read for me it kept hitting a nerve but it was a very important one.
During reading there were times that I felt she had climbed into my mind and splurged my thoughts and feelings on the page. The main character Tori is flawed or as her own guru Taylor would say 'She's a difficult woman'.
Except she's not. She's human. She has emotions and those emotions are valid and okay to display. Because I was reading an eARC the formatting was not what the final version will look like however this is what I can gleam. The book is split into 9 chapters spanning 9 months I only realised after I finished how clever this was!
My only issue with that is that each section was quite long and hope on printing there are some natural breaks white space included. I may be odd but I don't like to leave a book mid chapter and I struggled to find clear break off points. I loved the use of social media statuses in each section. The plot does explore issues around social media including 'does seeing other people's statuses make you depressed' and 'how important is it to get likes and validation'.
Tori's relationship with her boyfriend Tom was so conflicted and Holly really explores the challenges of long term relationships. Personally there are a couple of things he does that I find unforgivable there is definitely some gaslighting but I can totally understand why Tori is in the situation she is.
I like this quote from Taylor which says 'Anger is neither a positive or a negative emotion. It's just a signal that a boundary of yours is being crossed. Whether that is marriage, babies, a promotion, a new book. The issue of children is hugely important here and it is personally the sections around this that had me in tears. Both of laughter and sadness. Whether you are a woman who has had, hasn't had, wants or doesn't want children there is something in this book you will empathise with.
I would urge women to be cautious when talking with peers about children because we often don't know what is going on behind the scenes with respect to that. Not only is it a perfectly acceptable lifestyle choice to not want children there are also people that desperately do want them but for whatever reason can't. Feminism and female relationships, which are central in Holly's YA books, are just as important to older women.
The struggles of being a 'good feminist' is addressed along with a discussion about pubic hair that had me shaking my head in disbelief. Tori's friend Dee is awesome and there were some great scenes in the book that reminded me of nights with my mates. The evolution of female friendships especially when children come along is also examined.
I love how the concept of jealously is understood and that is acknowledged that it's okay to be jealous and happy for someone at the same time. My younger sister is getting married next year and just this weekend, before I finished the book, she asked me how I was feeling about it. She gets that it might be tricky for me and I love her for that. Luckily I am mega happy for her so any slight jealousy I have is only fleeting.
Tori goes to counselling in the book and oddly enough I have just started going too and I even spoke about this book in my last session?!? See - art imitates life people. That's why it's important. Mental health issues such as eating issues and self harm are touched on but are not the main focus.
There is a sense given that there is no quick fix but just an acceptance that problems exist. This book may not speak to every reader in the way it spoke to 39 year old me but it's almost turned into Tori's second book 'For women in their thirties'.
Obviously it's a story not a self help book but there are some good nuggets of advice amongst the humour and drama. Men who are with women in their thirties should totally read this too. It might help them understand some things. I most often read fantasy as I like some escapism in my stories. This book is so evocative of real life that I did actually get a book hangover and it made me think about changes I want to make.
Holly please keep sharing the truth with a capital T. Publishers keep sharing women's fiction that isn't just romance with a happy ending. Holly has taken the authenticity and relevance that I love about reading YA and put it info a book that I won't be criticised for reading at my age!!!
View all 11 comments. I haven't read Holly Bourne before. I know she actually writes YA and this was her first adult novel. I have to say, I enjoyed her writing, story telling, the way she engages the reader. I wasn't bored and I finished the book quickly. It was a chick-lit contemporary about a woman called Victoria, who became famous by sharing her miserable 20s when she had hard time dating and getting to know herself. Then she meets a man called Tom and they are together since 6 years. But, she's not happy, and f I haven't read Holly Bourne before.
But, she's not happy, and finds it difficult to break something that she invested so long. Plus, she has this huge fan base now that she doesn't want to disappoint. The book had relationship dynamics in a more cliche way that I read several times. The guy doesn't treat the girl the way he's supposed to, and we watch the girl come to her senses painfully slowly.
Although, it was a book I enjoyed the writing, wit, etc. I'd expect it to have some degree of originality. I don't expect a fluffy book to re-invent this too familiar story, but I expected a bit of 'point of difference' here and there, which I didn't find. So, most of the time, I felt like I was reading the same story again.
If it wasn't for the engaging writing, I'd have put it aside. Also, huge let down with the end. It all happened all so quickly and without a proper closure moment that I expected.
I'd want to read more about Tor, after she comes to her senses. The scene with Tom wasn't strong enough, he deserved more of a lesson than this one. So, my feminist side isn't satisfied : Would I recommend it? Probably not so whole heartedly. There are better ones out there. I'd recommend The Flatshare for example, if you're interested in reading similar topic.
Jul 13, Andrea rated it did not like it. From the first page and onwards it did nothing but piss me off! So I open this one up, and oh my goodness my most unfavourite thing to read Facebook messages, text messages even cheeseball pictures are included!
This is a big no for me! And when the fake pictures popped up, it was instant eye roll! The main character is rude, nasty and very up on herself. She worries so much about her Facebook likes, that it drove me crazy! When I was single and loving life, I was genuinely happy for my friends when they found a partner, or got married, or had a baby.
When I had my partner and my babies I was decent to those in my life who were not at that stage yet. Save yourself some time and money and pass on this book. View 1 comment. Dec 13, Liz Barnsley rated it it was amazing. I loved it. Highly Recommended. Full review nearer to publication next year. Aug 25, Gabby rated it it was ok Shelves: netgalley , read-in Thanks Netgalley for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review!
Am I Normal Yet? All of these novels have held something special for me: whether it's important and good discussions on mental heal Thanks Netgalley for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review! All of these novels have held something special for me: whether it's important and good discussions on mental health, feminism, consent, I have loved them all.
Bourne has a distinct narrative voice: she is able to take serious issues and be brutally honest about them. There is no sugar coating, and it's exactly the same within this one. Bourne doesn't sugarcoat sex. It's not all magical. It's not the romanticised portrayals you see on screen or often read about books. It's honest. What I think is great about this is whether you've had no sex, a little sex, tons of sex, its having a conversation with you.
It's opening that discussion up with it's audience - whether YA, or adult - and I think that's hella good. Isn't that great? As I've said, I love how Bourne takes on her female characters. While throughout all of this I didn't particularly love Tori, I appreciated what Bourne was doing with her character.
The whole discussion on success and how to most people that means nothing, rather you have to be a mother, was heart wrenching. It sucks, because it's true.
That isn't freaking fair. And also, that isn't freaking feminism. Just saying. And I like how Holly displays that in this - that is up to you when you want to make that choice, and your the one to take control of it. Ah, the feminism in this. I love it. But I love this. Women being allowed to own their freaking sexuality.
I also love this: I'm sure he has good intentions and all, but I just cannot handle men who get applauded for not being an arsehole. It should not be rewarded, it should just be a given. This reminds me of a discussion I was having the other day about how it's sad we get excited about saying "wow! All books should simply just be feministic without it having to be pointed out you know?? It should just be a given that going in to a book you're going to have this.
But while I really enjoyed it, I can't say I loved it. It definitely wasn't a juicy enough plot to go on for as long as it did. For a while it really did just feel like I was reading someones diary about them whining about their day. I mean Nigel was alright, there wasn't much of him, he was just so bland. And Tom??? Arse wipe. I often find that with Holly Bourne books.
There's so much female power which I love but yeah. And it's not really elaborated on. Tori just feels bad and cries and then tells herself it's all okay and tries to forget about it.
I wish their was more discussion that just because your in a relationship doesn't mean that's okay. Same with her and something she does even though Rock Man is like "no".
It's like!!! I also think - and to no fault of Bournes - that this book wasn't for me. I mean, I do feel like my teenage years have gone nowhere and that I probably have wasted most of them no - I find staying at home and netflixing and reading is a perfect way to spend any of your decades this wasn't exactly what the book was about. So most of the time I did find it hard to connect, but I tip my hat off to Bourne for still keeping me reading despite the fact this novel wasn't particularly for me.
So all in all, I did think this was a good debut to Bourne's dip in the adult novel genre! While I do prefer her YA, I can say I did like this and will pick up anymore adult novels she writes. Dec 09, Trish at Between My Lines rated it it was amazing Shelves: chick-lit , contemporary , release-day , reviews-done.
Somehow I never wrote a review for this book. And that makes this reviewer feel all kinds of awful, as this book was all kinds of wonderful. And I figure it's never too late to shout from the rooftops about how much I loved it.
The main character was one I loved to hate, while at the same time I hated to love her. I was conflicted but intrigued. Tori is messed up. Striving to be authentic on social media, but in a very contrived artificial way.
Craving meaning in her life, but trying to find it i Somehow I never wrote a review for this book. Craving meaning in her life, but trying to find it in superficial things.
And I could jump on to Instagram right now, and find dozens of insta-celebs just like her. While reading I wanted to highlight every line, as it just sang so true, and I wanted to remind myself of how toxic the internet can be.
It captured the fakeness and insanity of social media to a tee. The book had a great structure with instagram updates, text messages, etc. Fun and easy to read. But also razor sharp in its honesty. This was Holly's first venture into adult fiction, but for me she is now an auto-buy no matter what genre she is writing. Sep 29, Sarah rated it liked it Shelves: contemporary-romance , fiction. A bit of a mixed bag. I get some of the hype surrounding this but the second half felt way too dragged out - I just wanted more character development!
Oh, wat was ik enthousiast toen ik zag dat HarperCollins Holly Bourne ging vertalen. Ik hoop nog steeds heel erg dat ze deze serie ook gaan vertalen.
Maargoed, dan dit boek. Ik wilde het meteen lezen. Het lag voor mij in de lijn der verwachting van boeken zoals Hot Mess en Sandwichvrouw , die ik alleb Oh, wat was ik enthousiast toen ik zag dat HarperCollins Holly Bourne ging vertalen.
Het lag voor mij in de lijn der verwachting van boeken zoals Hot Mess en Sandwichvrouw , die ik allebei geweldig vond. Maar dit is een ander boek. De Nederlandse cover en flaptekst doen het een heel luchtig, fluffy, grappig boek lijken. De Engelse cover is al beter, maar het probleem met de flaptekst blijft.
Want ja, er zit humor in die heerlijk brutaly honest is, en dat vind ik geweldig. Maar het is geen vrolijk boek. Verre van zelfs. Dat Tori in de knoop zit met dat haar leven er op sociale media perfect uit ziet maar dat het van binnen alles behalve zo voelt en is, dat wordt al snel duidelijk. En goed duidelijk. Holly weet heel goed de tijdgeest van nu te vangen in dit boek. Maar ik verwacht van een personage dat een succesvol zelfhulpboek heeft geschreven, dat ze haar eigen probleem aan durft te pakken, dat ze er mee aan de slag wil.
Ik had in dit boek verwacht te lezen hoe ze dat deed. Maar dat kreeg ik niet. Het heeft iets hoor, dit verhaal. Van die tijdgeest enzo. Maar ik had verwacht een karakterontwikkeling te lezen, en dat kreeg ik niet. Utterly dissapointment over here. Maar ik zou hem niet zo snel aanraden, eerlijk gezegd.
Sep 26, Chantal rated it really liked it Shelves: listened-on-audio , contemporary , read-in , published That was totally unexpected. I mean, it actually scares me how relatable considering I'm 10 years younger than the protagonist. This story is a critical, self-aware look at how ageing is perceived in our society, the impact social media is making on our lives, and the pressures of being someone in the public eye. A truly wonderful novel that hit a bit too 4.
A truly wonderful novel that hit a bit too close to home. Mar 23, Sharon rated it it was amazing Shelves: review-copy. Tori Bailey has it all - because she has figured out that you don't need it all.
She has written a successful book about how to navigate your twenties in your own way, and people have lapped it up. She has a worldwide fan base, hoardes of fans on social media, and a wonderful boyfriend, Tom. But in reality, Tori doesn't know what she's doing.
All her friends are moving on and doing "proper grown up" things, her own social media streams are full of baby scan pictures or engagement shoots, and she Tori Bailey has it all - because she has figured out that you don't need it all.
All her friends are moving on and doing "proper grown up" things, her own social media streams are full of baby scan pictures or engagement shoots, and she's starting to wonder if she really wants everything she has sworn in print that women don't need to be happy?
I adored this book. I'm in my mid-thirties, started a family young, and yet still could identify very much with Tori. Kudos to Holly for not shying away from difficult content - I know from reading her Young Adult novels that she's not one to stay quiet on important subjects, and wondered how this would cross over to her first Adult Novel. It works perfectly, and I need more immediately. Mar 21, Annalise rated it it was amazing. Tori Bailey is a young woman on the edge of turning 30, trying to write the follow-up to her best-selling self-help memoir.
Jun 19, Ellesha rated it it was amazing Shelves: reviewed-books , , favorites. I went to her book opening in London to receive my copy and I started reading it as soon as possible. I was finishing a book at the time, so did not put that down until I finished it so I could start this one! I had high hopes for this book, and it definitely did not disappoint! I would just like to add that she stated she wrote the first draft of this book in only three and a half we Holly Bourne is my favourite author and I have been waited MONTHS to read this book and the day finally came!
There are not enough Toby Keith songs lately and that is a bummer for most Toby Keith fans and followers.
While the video is fun with really colorful and rowdy graphics and effects, some people cannot help but wonder when Toby Keith would return to his older music catalog wherein he sings his heart out on a familiar tune about love, hope and basically, being an American.
The song was co-written with Chuck Cannon. The said song was the biggest sold song of In an interview, Keith explained how his co-writer came about of the said song:. We started writing this song right after we finished another one. We got through the first verse, and I was just blown away by it.
I kept telling him this was gonna be a big song if we could just nail it. It took us about six months to get back to it after that. But we finally did get back together — and nailed it. Chuck Cannon, Life, songwriters, Toby Keith.
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